flutter_nail's Journal
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Below are the 17 most recent journal entries recorded in
flutter_nail's LiveJournal:
| Tuesday, August 8th, 2006 | | 1:02 am |
| | Friday, August 4th, 2006 | | 12:31 am |
| | Friday, July 14th, 2006 | | 3:03 pm |
Pirates
I think that I orgasm a little bit every time when I see a commercial of the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie. I'm in a lunch break at work and the only thing that keeps me working is that when I work, I get money and when I get money, I can go to see that movie. I'm also lusting after then new movie from Quentin Tarantino. I think that I'll rent it soon. It's peaceful in my world right now. I'm just a bit stressed about working, but otherwise things look very good. I love the days when I realize how wonderful it is to be alive. Current Mood:  happyCurrent Music: The people at work, laughing and talking | | Friday, June 16th, 2006 | | 11:10 pm |
Information about my fanfiction
So, this is my entry to inform about the future of my fanfics. I haven't updated for a while and I've had some big family problems which I would rather not talk too much. Anyway, I hope to update my fanfics in good speed like I usually do, but that's not possible anymore. My mother is a huge control freak and I always do what she says, I'm a nice little door-mat. I really don't have balls to say 'no' to her. The point is that she is fed up with me being in the computer. I have time to be in the computer 1-2 hours a day, which is not enough. I have decided to continue to e-mail my dear friend hysteric_moon so that takes some of my internet time. I also want to see the fics that other people write. I try to update my fics and write them when-ever possible, but I also have to go to therapy and to do a lot of work with my play (the first show of it is in the end of the summer). I hope that you can remain patient with my fanfics. The next fic to update is Homophobia. I'm stucked with one part, but I try to work on it. I also will give you a Kaoru/Toshiya fanfic with a very huge taste of lemon. I hope that I can also update my Die/Shinya fanfic when I have finally started to get over from my heartache. I'm writing the next part to it now, but like I said, I can't promise too much for you. I hope that you aren't mad at me. I apologize deeply at this! Let's hope that the situation will pass and that I can use my computer the all I want. Current Mood:  rushedCurrent Music: London after Midnight | | Monday, June 5th, 2006 | | 7:05 pm |
INSTRUCTIONS: 01. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me." 02. I will respond by asking you five questions of a very intimate and creepily personal nature. Or not so creepy/personal. 03. You WILL update your LJ with the answers to the questions. 04. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the post. 05. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions. I was interviewed by: beanova_1. your favorite place/city/etc to stay at ?I think that I love the most to spend the time in the library. It's quiet and peaceful and nothing can disturb me there. I love to read books and comics, and there is always something new to read. The atmosphere is wonderful and I can listen my mp3 player in some room and enjoy the peaceful feeling. If the weather is good, I can go to the balcony to read and listen the chirping birds. I was in the library today as well. The people who work there know me and they are very nice to me. 2. now that summer holidays started in Finland, what do you plan on doing ?I'm going to read manga, order some new J-rock CDs and listen to them like mad, go to swim, do gardening, read books, draw, paint, spend time with my little brother, write fanfiction and perhaps go to some J-rock/anime meeting if I have a change. 3. ever met any online friends ?No, but I'd love to meet hysteric_moon! *clomps* 4. you were to have sex in public, what place would you choose ?Hmmmm----- in some garden when it's night already. Flowers and fresh grass! 8DD (and perhaps a few bushes to cover the hot scene) 5. anal or oral ? If being done to me, I think I prefer oral (never experienced, don't know). If you mean that which I like in fanfiction, then anal. *slaps her hentai face* Current Mood:  sleepyCurrent Music: The Cure | | Saturday, June 3rd, 2006 | | 4:55 pm |
Quizzes
Just pimping my quizzes and asking some fun quizzes from you! They don't have to be Dir en grey related, but still would be great! And J-rock quizzes are welcomed as well. Tomorrow I have extra time to just goof around ^___^ ( Quizzes of Dir en grey ) Current Mood:  sillyCurrent Music: Plastic tree | | Saturday, May 27th, 2006 | | 7:02 pm |
| | Saturday, May 6th, 2006 | | 4:51 pm |
Gnaaaaa! :)
I had so much fun in the art classes that I almost died! I love to use watercolors and those were the topic of the day. The others around there painted their pictures in three seconds or so, but I was coloring his eyes very carefully and so on. XDD It was really awsome to be there! Some of the girls were annoying me when they were being too loud. I love surrealism and painting with that style was so awsome! I painted the dream I saw a few nights ago and I think I managed with it quite well, though I still think that I ruined his hair when I excited too much. Why is drawing of human toes so damn difficult? I almost ripped mt hair off when doing them! But yes, hmm, I just came home and I will start writing my fanfiction, probably more to my fic Chemicals between us. In the evening I will read some books that I leant from the library today and perhaps paint a little bit more if I have the inspiration! And of course, I will order a pizza with ham, pineapple, extra cheese and red pepper. *drools* I am also writing that speech and feeling very nervous about it! I have two days time to get rid of my shyness and learn to speak to people. hide help me... Current Mood: happyCurrent Music: Phantasmagoria | | Friday, May 5th, 2006 | | 12:38 pm |
| | Thursday, May 4th, 2006 | | 3:26 pm |
Skippu
I skipped school today and I had a really good time! I slept till 12, I cooked, I wrote some fanfiction (I might publish my one-shot fic soon!) and i watched a good movie. I would so much want to skip school tomorrow as well, but unfortunately I have to be there! I have to write German essay today (200 words). I'm not that good in German. I usually get C or something from essays and from the real tests I usually get a D/C. I try my best though! Let's hope that I haven't forgotten everything! Sometimes I really feel like a fool when we are in German class. The bruise is fucking ugly and it hurts if I touch it T^T I just realized today that I'm 17 years old and I have never dated anyone! I haven't even hold someones hand romantically! That is just so... me. I know, when you are teased, it is very hard to find anyone. Who would want to date the dork/freak of the school? I think that it is the biggest problem at the moment. The next thing is the fact that I really don't know how to talk with people. It's easy on the internet when people can't see me! But when people stare at me, I grew so nervous and I ramble. I can't look at them to eyes, so I always look at the floor and I clutch something that is near when I'm really nervous (like a sleeve or something). OMG! I HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL TOMORROW! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!~~~ ;_____; Current Mood:  okayCurrent Music: D | | Wednesday, May 3rd, 2006 | | 4:47 pm |
-N-
I'm so going to skip school tomorrow. I can't face anyone anymore and the teasing was even worse today. I was slapped as well! So, I'll just stay home for a while so I can be safe. Unfortunately we have a new rule in senior-high. If you are absent three hours from one course, you might have to do the same course again next year. I haven't miss any classes so far, so I am not worried about that. I just feel so weak and I have no motivation, so it doesn't matter am I there or am I here. I hope that the slap doesn't leave a bruise! The spot is a bit red at the moment... ;__; Current Mood:  depressedCurrent Music: hide | | Tuesday, May 2nd, 2006 | | 2:41 pm |
;___; damn.
Great day at school (not). I tried to go there as late as possible to avoid the teasing. That worked quite well, but later of course they had plenty of time to annoy me and make rude remarks. The guy who I am in love with didn't seem to react. He didn't exactly make fun of me, but he definitely didn't defend me from his friends! Still I got easily away with it today, because most of the teasers were busy or skipping school to clear their heads after drinking so hard on the weekend and Monday. Still I cried at lunch time in girls restroom a little bit, when the others were gone eating. I know that I shouldn't take this to myself for them being childless (seriously, they are 17 and they seem to be on a same level with the 6 year olds!) but I am quite sensitive, especially when it comes to that guy who I adore. The worst teasers were my so called friends and in the beginning of the last class the friendship broke between us. I was the one to say 'this is over'. I am not regretting it because I think that I deserve real friends, but on the other hand I am because now there is no-one to talk to! Loneliness sucks. I forced the whole German class to have a silent minute because the anniversary of Hide's death is today. My teacher thought that Hide was a relative of mine and I was like T__T NO! But I wish he was ^___^ No! Then I would be even sadder now T___T She was quite confused in the end. I tried to explain to them who Hide is/was but they didn't get it. They should listen more music and stop visiting church so often (people in my German class are very religious). Now I feel sad after everything bad that has happened, but at least I'm home now. I have so many things to do for school in this week and I'm really not in the mood of studying. I think that I'll just feel sorry for myself and cook something nice. And perhaps I will continue my one-shot fic about Kyo that I'm writing? Current Mood: crushedCurrent Music: X Japan | | Sunday, April 30th, 2006 | | 1:35 pm |
Yes! Yes! Yes!
There is always something good in life, isn't there? I was just needing something good and fun in my life and then I have a phone call and this lady tells me that the play I wrote won the competition! I almost forgot the whole thing! Anyway, the group of actors in my home town will practise it (me running the whole show) and the play will be beformed in the end of this summer or in the beginning of autumn in my home town. I'm so happy! The play tells about family violence, fantasy world of a young boy and drugs. It's called "Eskapismia aloittelijoille". It means: "Escapism for beginners". Escapism means that someone is running from the reality. He/she tries desperately to avoid the reality or not to think it. It usually involves the using of drugs as well. I'm so excited and now I'm writing my fics happily as well! I think I'll skip school on Tuesday, because they are still making fun of me there. But anyways, now life seems much better and brighter! Current Mood:  hyperCurrent Music: My own, happy singing. | | Thursday, April 27th, 2006 | | 6:32 pm |
Bad, bad luck
I got rejected today! ;___; It was a sad experience for me, really. I have had a crush for that guy like for ages, but he wasn't interested at all. I thought that the quiet ones are also nice, but he was very rude at me when I told him about everything. He said that I was too weird and that I would ruin his reputation! I didn't see that coming even when I had prepared myself if he would reject me. The mental abuse was very hard for me to handle. I'm all gloomy now and I feel fucking depressed. On the other hand I am quite proud of myself as well! I have had a few small crushes as well but I have never told anyone. And I really mean ANYONE. And now when I was so much in love I actually managed to tell him! At least I have some bravery! I also feel a bit nauseous after eating everything sweet from my home that I could find <.< *Sniffu* I tried to write my bad feeling away and I have been actually able to continue writing my Homophobia-fanfic. I am unable to write Heartbeat that couldn't be ignored, because at the moment lovey things make me sick. If things get bad with Kaoru and Die in Homophobia, that is probably because I'm still upset. I try to collect myself so I can write in the weekend because now I have all the time I need. *Curls under a blanket* I feel so foolish. Current Mood: rejectedCurrent Music: Calmando Qual | | Tuesday, April 25th, 2006 | | 12:18 pm |
My task: Once you are tagged you MUST write a blog about your 6 weird habits/things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next six people to be tagged and list their names. 1) When I eat a cherry, I always apologize first by giving it a comforting kiss. I think it's cruel to eat cherries, but they are so good! T^T 2) My mun has caught me more than once singing Robbie Williams' song 'Radio' in my sleep. The weirdest part is that I don't even like that song at all. I barely know the lyrics. 3) I can't eat Finnish sausage called HK:n sininen, because it looks like a penis. It's too disturbing! Just think the pain of the guy if you would actually bite his cock off. 4) I cry every time when I hear X Japan's song 'Endless rain'. 5) When I eat nuts, I have three seconds time to visit the bathroom before something rather embarrassing happens. 6) I always moan for my Shinya-poster. I know that he is blushing when I'm gone XD Well okay, I don't really know who to challenge! Here are the people who I want to tag, but if they don't want to do this, they really don't have to: hysteric_moon miyavitoshiya vi_la seiichiyamagai murky_murk beanova_ Current Mood: gigglyCurrent Music: Phantasmagoria | | Saturday, April 15th, 2006 | | 6:25 pm |
Name: Heartbeat that couldn't be ignored Author(s): flutter_nail (and pain_relief in chapter one) Genre: Romance, lemon, m/m. Rating: R - NC-17 Pairings: Die/Shinya Lenght: 1/3 Summary: Shinya has always been emotionless, blank drummer. One night he realizes how much a certain red haired guitarist means to him. Is he ready to start a relationship with Die, when he knows nothing about love? Author notes: flutter_nail: I love Die/Shinya pairing. This is my first fic in this community and second in live journal! Comments are higly apprecciated! Thanks to pain_relief from e-mailing with me and having messinger talkings! pain_relief: In future chapters I think that there won't be any stuff from me. So this is flutter_nail's work really but she wanted to add me as an author as well. You're welcome! I continue e-mailing. Maybe we can role-play sometime and make a fic together.... *grins* flutter_nail: XDD YES! I just want to finish my two fics first so there won't be too much work. pain_relief: I wrote the dream part originally to my own fic, but I hate AFF in the moment and I don't know what to do with my fics in there. But to cut the babbling, enjoy! ( Chapter 1 and 2 ) Current Mood:  contemplativeCurrent Music: Phantasmagoria | | 6:23 pm |
Homophobia
Name: Homophobia Writer: flutter_nail Genre: Angst, violence, abuse, m/m, fluff, shounen-ai, lemon. Length: 1/5 I think. We'll see. Pairings: Die [uke]/Kaoru [seme] Disclaimer: I don't own Die or kaoru. Summary: A normal, autumn evening is filled with romance between Die and Kaoru on their walk in the park. Something happens? Yes, Kaoru gets badly hurt when he is being beaten up by three homophobic persons. Will he recover and can their relationship be saved? The first chapter is written in Die's POV, but this might chance in the future chapters. A/N: Hello! This is my first fanfic EVER and I'd love to know what you think of it! I have never dared to write a fanfic before in my life so comments are highly appreciated! Enjoy! Here is the chapter one for you! Thanks to my friend from encouragement. ^___^ This is posted to Direngrey_ yaoi community and diexkaorulove community. ( Chapter 1 and 2 ) Current Mood: lonelyCurrent Music: Gazette |
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